Why can't I finish a book?

I feel I am being unfair to the writer by not giving the book a chance. It hurts me every time I leave a book mid way. But, I don't know why is it that I only seem to have read just a handful of books from cover to cover. It embarrasses me to say that since I sometimes call myself a writer. Is it me? Am i the problem? The more I think about this, the more complicated it becomes. But then I wonder, why does one read a book? I don't know about others but I read  it to hunt for that one line, one idea that would stay with me for the rest of my life. And when I don't find it in a few pages, I stop having the motivation to continue reading. As I read through the pages, it just hits me that I am not going to get what I want from this book. And that's when I stop reading. Am I in the wrong here? I feel when we read something, we read it for ourselves, because we want to read it or because the book seems to give us something. So, aren't most readers selfish in a way? And is being selfish such a bad thing? I would rather leave a book half way through than force myself to read on as if it was an obligation.

But it is not just the books that I am worried about. I am scared that this might be indicative of how I deal with things and people and relationships in life. Do I lose interest in someone or something the moment it stops giving me something that would add to my philosophical growth as a human being? Is that the reason why I am usually bored and indifferent to things and people? Is this a sign of impatience or the height of selfishness?

Is love all that you need?

It isn't just about love, you know. It just couldn't be. The answer to all your questions couldn't just be something as simple as love! That just doesn't sound right. Had it been only about love, then we wouldn't have so many divorces, right? There would be no problems between parents and their kids, no quarrels between anyone who loved the other person. But yet somehow, relationships do not seem to last. No matter how much you love someone, it just does not seem enough. 

Love or arranged?

As one of my girlfriends strove hard to get over her boyfriend, and give arranged marriage a shot,  she called me to discuss if an arranged marriage was the right choice. This got me thinking, which is better, a love or an arranged marriage?

Well, in this day and age, an arranged marriage sounds like a thing of the past. However, I look at my parents who have been in a blessed arranged marriage for over 25 years. Why is it that we have lost faith in the concept of an arranged marriage? What is it that makes the thought of marrying a stranger so scary? Is a love marriage a safer/easier bet than an arranged marriage?

Most people say that the main thing that works in favor of a love marriage is the fact that you "know" the person that you are about to marry. But is it really possible to "know" someone? And even if you believe you know your would-be husband or wife, can you be sure that he or she won't change with time? Forget about your partner, do you think you know who 'you' really are? And can you honestly  say that you won't change with time. The fact is, if we cannot even be sure of ourselves and how we would react to a particular situation, how can we ever fully know someone else? And isn't marriage all about discovering and rediscovering your partner and yourself?

I believe, every marriage, love or arranged, needs some basic ingredients, regardless of how long you have known your partner. The first and the most important ingredient is respect. Respect for your partner's feelings, needs, space, and individuality. If you respect each other, love will come naturally. To take your partner for granted, could be the first sign of diminishing respect.

The next important ingredient is trust. Trust is not only limited to fidelity. You must have trust in your partner's instincts, intentions, abilities, and sensibilities. If you cannot trust your partner, you will not be able to sustain the relationship, be it a love marriage or an arranged one.

Another essential  component is the ability and willingness to change and adapt. Being able to arrive at a solution that is not unfair to either of you, takes effort and patience. At no point should you feel that you are doing something out of obligation or making a sacrifice. Both you and your partner must be willing to make some adjustments as and when required. If you are able to have a sensible discussion about issues that are important to both of you, then it is a sign that you have the maturity to handle tough and testing situations. It is this maturity that will help strengthen your relationship in the long run.

Now you may wonder why love has not entered this list yet. What is love? Is it what the romantic novels say it is? Or is it something that has no real existence? I feel a marriage is less about love but more about "feeling at home" with your partner. If you can completely be yourself in front of someone, without being constantly judged, then you have every making of a successful marriage.

 When I was about to get married, my mother told me, "If you fail to row a boat, changing the boat won't help. You need to learn how to row better." I guess that's all it takes. Every marriage, be it love or arranged, is after all a "marriage", a union of two souls. There will be friction. There will be good and bad times. There will be challenges and rewards. It is a leap of faith but as long as you are willing to make it work, you have a chance. A chance to have a blessed "marriage". 

My dream room

A big Buddha statue in a meditative pose, several beautiful wind chimes, lovely earthy lamp shades, an antique book shelf and a cozy, welcoming ambience....

Shit happens (more so in an obscenely crowded bus)

So, am one of those mass produced corporate employees who know their lives depend on catching the office bus at 6:30 pm.......every weekday....and of course, am not too lucky......so....this is dedicated to all the mass produced corporate employees who HAVE to catch an obscenely crowded office bus at 6:30 pm...every weekday:

Things that may go wrong on an obscenely crowded office bus:

1) You know that the laws of the universe are twisted when you have been waiting for the bus for more than an hour...and all u see are buses that have "God is Great" written on them.

2) After waiting for an hour, you "THINK" your bus has come and as a responsible citizen you alert all your colleagues who get all happy and prepared to get into the bus and lo... (with my kinda luck it isn't too tough to imagine what happens next...Hint: it involves a lot angry stares).

3) You take your seat in the bus and the girl sitting next to you is carrying this giant ass umbrella (the kind that can save a crowd from the rain). And due to space constraints, she has no other option but to keep the umbrella at a certain angle where it can't help but poke you.

4) You are super annoyed. Why? Because the bus has stopped at a signal and there are a whole lotta assholes honking away to glory (because they believe honking helps) and noise is killing your soothing heavy metal rock music experience (it is strange how the honks give you a headache and not heavy metal rock).

5) You can't help but sense that something somewhere is not right....as if this world isn't wired correctly...I mean...how come it takes the bus 1 hour to reach the express highway from my office (which is in Andheri east ) and just 7 minutes to cover the distance between Andheri and Bandra (my stop)???

6) You are sitting at an angle where you have no other option but to stare at a guys ass.

7) You realize that someone is farting his/her ass off and every time the bus stops....the experience becomes excruciatingly painful.

8) You are so touched by your Einsteinian thought process that you get an uncontrollable urge to (no..not to pee) put your observations on a piece of paper. You go on a mad hunting spree and scout for a pencil and a note pad (a Herculian task when a bus is obscenely crowded) and you finally succeed. You spend most of the rest of the journey trying to jot down your kick-ass observations.

9) While you being all smart and all, you get a sudden feeling that you have missed your stop. You make a mad scramble, cursing people as you make your way to the exit door. With a sense of relief and achievement you get off....only to realize that you got off a little too soon. As the bus passes you by, you can see the faces of all those you cursed and somehow you know that they know. Of course, once you get over the embarrassing feeling, you start walking towards your stop which is a kilometer away.

10) Once you reach your destination...all you think about is putting your amazingly profound thoughts on your blog....with superb excitement, you reach home...switch-on your lappy..take out your note pad and voila! You can't make out a single word you wrote! You can almost see a wickedly mocking smile on your lappy's screen.

Amidst all the pushing and sweating and cursing and staring, you realize that it isn't the bus that is mocking you. It's the corporate experience. It makes you believe that you are oh-so-smart...while you struggle to make your way home in an obscenely crowded bus-----every weekday...

When a singer becomes a poet :)

‎'I didn't really have any ambition at all. I was born very far from where I'm supposed to be, and so, I'm just on my way home, you know?' ~Bob Dylan

Learnings from the rain

Those who "know" me know that i love the rain....only when am at home staring at it. I was almost sure i was the only girl on Earth who did not think getting wet in the rain was romantic. But then i bumped into Dipika. So i thought, there might be more people out there who share my hatred for a rain bath.

This one is for those who "detest" the rain and absolutely dread the idea of unannounced rain showers. It is for people like me who have a special dictionary where:

Drizzle = Rain

Rain = Raining cats and dogs

Raining cats and dogs = Cloud burst

Here are some things i learned last evening when the rain god (if there is one) decided to surprise us all:

1) No matter how much you curse the rain god (if there is one) it is not going to help. Instead, you might end up making him angrier.

2) Always have a friend by your side who would trust you with her stole when the rain god (if there is one) decides to take out his frustration on the human kind.

3) Taking shelter under a tree does not help because instead of raindrops you'll get rain blobs (a word i use to define gigantic raindrops), and the whole purpose would be lost.

4) Keep walking because you might end up finding a bus stop to rescue you from the rain.

5) While waiting for an auto, stand in light so that the autowala can actually see you.

6) Do not be too excited if you spot an empty auto, because it would not stop for you.

7) Even if the autowala stops, he would not want to go where you want to go.

8) Stand near a traffic signal. The autowalas will HAVE to stop and you'll have more than one auto to choose from.

9) No matter how sure you are that the rain has stopped, do not remove your protective cover because some lunatic goon is sure to whoosh by you, drenching you in god knows what!

10) Finally, remember.....it is not over till you reach home.

The best thing bout a reliance or a dolphin connection....u r perpetually on an "airplane mode"!!!

I always thought that male was the only chilled out and fun species in the world....Rachel and Dipika changed my view...u guys rock man!

PS: Rachel don't forget to bring me a pair of earrings from NYC and Dipika, that bourneville (RICH COCOA) won't hurt :P