Friday, August 2, 2013

Why can't I finish a book?

I feel I am being unfair to the writer by not giving the book a chance. It hurts me every time I leave a book mid way. But, I don't know why is it that I only seem to have read just a handful of books from cover to cover. It embarrasses me to say that since I sometimes call myself a writer. Is it me? Am i the problem? The more I think about this, the more complicated it becomes. But then I wonder, why does one read a book? I don't know about others but I read  it to hunt for that one line, one idea that would stay with me for the rest of my life. And when I don't find it in a few pages, I stop having the motivation to continue reading. As I read through the pages, it just hits me that I am not going to get what I want from this book. And that's when I stop reading. Am I in the wrong here? I feel when we read something, we read it for ourselves, because we want to read it or because the book seems to give us something. So, aren't most readers selfish in a way? And is being selfish such a bad thing? I would rather leave a book half way through than force myself to read on as if it was an obligation.
But it is not just the books that I am worried about. I am scared that this might be indicative of how I deal with things and people and relationships in life. Do I lose interest in someone or something the moment it stops giving me something that would add to my philosophical growth as a human being? Is that the reason why I am usually bored and indifferent to things and people? Is this a sign of impatience or the height of selfishness?

No comments: