To be honest, I do not really know what I want. There….I admit it! It doesn’t make me feel any better though. I do not know why in the midst of all the celebrations, I am suddenly filled with emptiness. My face droops down and my heart starts beating real slow. It feels as if my presence is as good as my absence and I ask myself…”Why am I here?” I try to fill myself up with words but my inability to be a part of other’s happiness kills me and makes me detest my own self. I am scared to venture in…because I am afraid I won’t find anything within. I feel like a giant hollow…just an animal full of blah….blah blah blah…that’s all I really do. I have lost my centre ( if I ever had one), and now it feels as if am just breathing away to no- thing. My moments of “happiness” turn into blankness even before I can live them…the worst part is though, I don’t even know if I want to get out of this comfort zone.